Sunday, March 8, 2009

Hey kids!
To those of you who care (Im guessing about, 0 of the six followers I have fall into this amazingly popular category) Im back. And, to be truly honest, I never even went anywhere. (Actually, I did. I went to lazyland. Dont lie, youve been there as well. Its a world full of sofas, coffee and neverending episodes of Gossip Girl. In other words, pure bliss. And if you've never visited, your missing out.) I figured Id give the tiny amount of people who find my blog interesting a break from it, for what seemed like A MILLION AND ONE DAYS. I hope you didnt take it for granted, because Im back. For good this time, I think.

In the amount of time I was 'away' Im sure you got up to some majorly exciting things. But never as exciting as me, I mean, my burnt toast and make believe boyfriend is more interesting hands down. But, honestly, I discovered myself. Im not usually the type of person who gets all 'deep' and 'meaningful' on the internet, but i figured that if youve lived through reading about my hate for Valentines Day, you can survive my stories of soul searching :)

One thing I realised, is the fact that Im an artist. Id like to think of it as contemporary art, whimsical yet amazingly compelling. Its this technique called procrastination. You see, I basically perfected it when I was in LazyLand. Whenever I would log onto the computer, the same thought would replay over and over in my head.
"Do i have a blog? I do, dont I? For the cake of it? No. YES! Oh, maybe I should post an entry. Nah, ill do it later. Ill get there"
And then Im so absorbed in other stuff that I completely forget about this crazy little excuse I have for a blog.

But its not as though this whole blogging thing is the only thing that contributes to my artistic career. Like most people, my bedroom is fairly messy. Actually, no, its immaculately clean, the furniture sparkles, the clothes all have a private closet and Mozart is always playing in the background. If only. In real life, (away from Lazyland. By the way, its begging you to visit. Theyre currently going through a recession and need your tourism money) theres pens and paper all over the desk, shoes on the floor, cords everywhere. But, my argument is, Im the only person in there, (apart from fairies or imaginary invisible friends, but they havent complained yet so they mustnt mind either) and if I dont care, why should anybody else? You can all probably relate to that, and If you cant, your lying :)

Another shameless thing I discovered, is the fact that Im possibly the most uncoordinated person on the planet. Sure, I kind of already knew that, (my sport skills are beyond amazing. My ability to drop every ball and run like a donkey is truly inspiring. Perhaps I should make a work out video and post it all over youtube) but this one weekend totally proved my point. I was sleeping at a friends house, when as you do, we decided we'd like to take photos. So she mentioned this really cool place, like a vacant bit of land, but to get there we had to either climb over or under this pretty big fence. So I was like, yeah, no sweat. (Confession, inside I was really freaking out. Fences, along with rain, ice, snow etc, are all fatal for the unco) But when we got to that fence, I had to lie down, on my back, in a strange attempt to shimmy myself underneath it. Im sure it was deadly funny, never to mention classy. So, we got in there, took our photos, and then when we were ready to get out, I decided it might be a bit easier for me If I went OVER the fence instead of under it. (Sometimes my judgement is wrong, very wrong. Actually, quite often. No. Always.) So, I tried to step onto the fence, then kind of like, get to the top, then just jump off. It was all fine til I got to the top, then I froze. I mean, who freezes at the top of a fence? So, I stay there for what seems like 45464 hours, trying to figure out a way to get down without COMPLETELY KILLING MYSELF. (And possibly the fence) And then, out of no where, this lady calls out "Dont hurt yourself Dear." Needless to say, I was embarrassed.

You know whats also embarrassing? The fact that the above paragraph sounded a whole lot better in my head :)

So I guess thats my soul-searching done for the year. Im officially a Procrastinating Uncoordinated Bogan Artist, and feel free to call me that if you wish :) Ill wear that badge with pride, cause guaranteed theres nobody out there who could accomplish that title like I can! :)

Ill be off now,
Probably to clean my room up a bit.
Or not, Im sure it can wait.

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